Mastering the Art of Reading the Room

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Welcome back to Leilani’s Couch, y’all—it’s your ten-minute refuel. Today, we're talking about that secret weapon in business nobody puts on their résumé but everybody needs: reading the room. You ever walk into a meeting and just feel like the vibe is... off? Not like "Mercury in retrograde" off, but like, something's not being said, you know? That's the invisible stuff—the emotional and social intelligence—that actually runs the show, especially when stakes are high. There’s research out there showing leaders who pick up on those subtle, unspoken cues outperform those who bulldoze their way through every room. That stuff actually moves the needle.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

I remember reading about this one tech CEO—can't remember if it was Facebook or, um, Twitter back in the day, but the point stands—they had a chance to make a huge pivot in strategy, right? The board was giving all the body language of "Nope, we need something different," but the CEO just kept charging ahead. Guess what? Opportunity fizzled. What happens is, when you ignore those signals, no one feels heard, and business doesn’t move. I've seen that in my world, too. Let me tell y’all, as a real estate broker, I’ve sat at the negotiation table and, oh, you quickly learn: if someone’s shifting in their seat, glancing at their phone, biting their lip—that’s not just nerves; that's discomfort. I had this one deal on the brink of disaster until I noticed my client’s eyes darting every time I mentioned closing costs. I paused, asked a question about her concerns, and boom—the whole energy shifted. We cleared up confusion, kept the deal, and both sides walked away happy.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

What I’m getting at is, most game-changers in boardrooms, or kitchen tables for that matter, don’t come from what’s being said—it's what you notice before it even comes up. And this isn't about being perfect. That last episode, we talked about messy energy, right? Well, you can be both a little messy and incredibly observant. Reading the room is knowing when your voice is needed, and when you need to listen harder than you speak.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

So let’s break down what that actually looks like—because it’s not telepathy, right? You don’t need a sixth sense. It’s all about picking up stuff like eye contact—does it break quickly or linger? Is someone’s body turned away? Or maybe you’ve got that silence, not the respectful kind, but the "we’re zoning out" kind. These are the tells. I saw it in action, once, in this product pitch—I think it was for some new tech platform—where you could literally watch the team check out as soon as the slides went up. A couple of crossed arms, some glancing at watches, even a yawn. But the speaker just kept going. By the time the Q&A started, that room energy was so low, even coffee couldn’t save it. They lost the deal.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

I’ve felt that energy at our Boss Women Network sessions too. You know how it is—sometimes you prep this powerhouse agenda, you’re hyped, but then you notice folks sipping water, staring off, checking their phones? That’s not a personal attack, that’s just the group’s way of telling you, "Uh, pivot, please." I caught it once—maybe more than once, let me be real—so I just stopped, acknowledged the elephant in the room, started a fresh convo about what they needed most that day, and poof, you could feel everyone come back to life. I learned this later after a few group dismantles. Sometimes groups just dont align with core visions so no matter what you do, it is not going to work. Now I really believe in reading that group energy and adjusting in the beginning. Like, don’t force your agenda so hard that you miss what’s actually needed. And honestly, this is one of those things that gets easier the more you brave those little awkward moments and keep showing up anyway.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

So next time you’re leading a meeting or making a pitch, try scanning for those little social clues. It’s not about being suspicious, it’s about being present—kind of like we talked about a few episodes back with networking and presence. All those episodes connect, because at the end of the day, it’s your energy that guides the room, but only if you’re tuned in.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Let’s get practical before we wrap. So, you sense the vibe is off—now what? Here’s where confidence meets humility, which, by the way, is a theme we circled back to a lot on this podcast. Don’t just bulldoze. Pause. Ask a clarifying question: "Hey, before we move ahead, is there anything I’m missing?" Sometimes, just letting a little silence hang for a second invites people to open up.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

Another move is to literally address the energy. I mean, Oprah does this masterfully. You know how in tense interviews, she’ll stop and say, "Tell me what you’re feeling right now," and everyone just—sigh—relaxes? That’s a room reset. It takes guts, but it works. I remember this one vendor meeting I had; things were stressed, tone was short, you could practically taste the tension. I just named it, like, "Y’all, I’m feeling some tension here, is there something we need to clear up before we move forward?" It broke the ice, we laughed, got honest about what was bothering us, and you know what? That partnership survived—and thrived—because we didn’t pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t.

Leilani Anderson-Monroe

So, ask questions, pause, read faces, and don’t be afraid to name what’s in the air. A room can be transformed in one honest moment. It’s like what we touched on in the 'Stop Playing Humble' episode—when you really own your space, own your awareness, you’re not just shifting the energy for you, but for everyone there. That’s how you become memorable. All right, fam, take this into your next meeting, pitch, or family dinner even—just read the room, and then move it where you want it to go. That’s it for today, but you know we’re not done—we’re just getting started. We are all still learning Until next time, keep showing up, keep tuning in. You’re always welcome back on this couch.